November 16, 2009

Some Random Thoughts

This is going to be one of those completely pointless posts, that tell you nothing, and is basically here so that I can try and sort out my own craziness without enlisting the help of an expensive therapist. In other words, read at your own risk, I can't promise this will be interesting.

I am an extreme over thinker and I have recently come to the conclusion that it is becoming a problem. For example, I run over every small detail of my life (unless of course that detail involves a Coach purse or a cute pair of shoes. Swiping the credit card seems to take little to no thought) over and over and over, looking at it from different angles, and attempting to analyze it in every way possible, until I make myself (and those around me) crazy.

This is causing issues. As we all know, I am currently in my third year of Professional Writing at York University. This is obviously a program that relies heavily on essay's and I am a large procrastinator. But I get around feeling bad about it because I am always thinking about my essay (Note to those who think this is never think it's quite so smart when you realize you have just spend two weeks contemplating the essay and are now forced to write the whole thing in a night.)

This also causes me to read into everything. I literally stay up at night thinking "what did they mean by that" or "is so and so going to like such and such." I have been with "C" for almost 8 years and I still do it. Sometimes I wonder why he puts up with me (there I go again!)

It also causes problems with forgiveness. I will tell you I forgive you, we can move on, but it's never totally gone. It's always running through the back of my mind, in different situations, ready to be used when necessary. Like I said, it's a problem. My wedding is still 2 years away and I think I have run through every possible emotion. I don't know how I'm going to survive the rest of the wait. I'm not kidding, I have had cold feet, been extremely excited, been extremely nervous, run over every little detail or problem that could possibly occur and had terrifying wedding nightmares that I have been told shouldn't be happening yet. And I still have another 2 and a half years to live with this.

Yeah so this got me nowhere. Maybe you enjoyed my useless babbling?


browneyedgirl said...

I personally really like useless babbling, mostly because I do it myself :)

You're not alone on the over-thinking front, however. I do it quite frequently, and it's not a good thing. Sometimes you just have to let things be, let them play out how they're supposed to.

Before you know it, the wedding will be here and you'll be wondering where all the time went. Just try to enjoy it now, and if you need to take a step back for a breather, no one will blame you!

Christine said...

aww I like ramblings I do it as well! I worried a lot about our wedding...I didn't have nearly as long an engagement but you will make the right choices and everything will be wonderful! Thank you for the sweet comment! I was changing the songs for the wedding up until about the week