November 13, 2009

Help!

Ok so I have this friend....if you want to call her that....

Background story: I have known her (I'm going to refer to her as "N") since I was seven or eight. As kids we were best friends, and did everything together. We lived on the same street, went to the same school, same house at night, sleep overs on weekends, basically inseparable. Of course this story changes, I moved, we went to different high schools and as expected grew apart. We managed to hold on to a distant friendship for a while over internet, phone, occasional visits but over the last couple of years we barely spoke. She has met "C" only a handful of times, and we have both developed a much closer group of separate friends.

Here's where the advice is needed. I recently found out the "N" is pregnant. She did not call to tell me, but in her defense I didn't bother to call her when "C" proposed. I found out about her pregnancy through my sister, who was told by "N's" mother. I saw her for the first time on Halloween, when I was out trick or treating with my nieces. Needless to say it was awkward. She was shocked about the engagement and I was surprised to see my former best friend very pregnant but I figured it was over for another year, when we would repeat the awkward updates of our lives. I was wrong. Today I received an invitation in the mail for her baby shower. I was pretty taken aback. We don't talk and as far as I'm concerned the friendship is as good as over. My sister and mother were both invited, so I'm going, and I'm fine with that

My issue is, after long and careful analyzing, I decided that we were no longer close enough friends and did not include her on my wedding guest list. Now I am getting conflicting advice. Some people tell me that because she still considers us close enough to invite me to the baby shower, I should include her on my wedding list...

....What do you guys think? Do I invite "N" to the wedding just because she invited me to her baby shower?

4 comments:

Christine said...

This may seem rude to some but I wouldn't. It's kind of odd that she invited you to the baby shower...but sometimes people invite those who aren't that close to them to get more gifts for the baby. A wedding I think is a much bigger deal than a baby shower.

Tia said...

i totally don't think you need to invite her to the wedding.

weddings and baby showers are in two different leagues, in my opinion.

canuckitude said...

Being on the inside of this lol.. I dunno, I don't see why you should invite her to the wedding. If you're going to invite her, then there's probably another 20-30 people that could be thrown into the same boat. Some friends, no matter how close you are to them at different stages in life... some pass and some stick around.

browneyedgirl said...

I'm with everyone here, you shouldn't feel obligated to invite her. You don't feel like you guys have been friends for a while now, and inviting her to the wedding only because she invited you to her baby shower isn't reason enough. It's a tough situation, but you have to listen to your gut feeling.